Losing My Religion

I lay awake with deep regrets,
On what has come and gone
What’s been promised has now been set
Its now too late to right my wrongs

I see my mother stand in tears,
And friends who look to mourn
Tears drench my father’s beard
Whilst my sisters left alone

I feel the happenings around me,
Yet my body can’t respond
I hear them saying words about me
Reminiscing on what has gone

I feel my body laid to rest
As I look up in disbelief,
I feel the people slowly fade
Until I’m left with none but me

I wallow in my own despair
Of what I know is still to come
The test is over,
But a new reality has begun

In a pit of utter darkness
A chill travels through my core,
I feel a presence make me shudder
And a sight unseen before
Two figures come in plain sight
Of what intent I feel unsure,
But with a force and heavy might
One yells to me, ‘Who Is your Lord?’

For some reason I can’t reply
And it begins distressing me
I thought I knew the answer
Till I realised
I already lost my deen

But then I wake up in cold sweat
Thanked the lord, it was all a dream
I spat three times on to my left
And pondered on what it could mean

I thought about my idle time
And wrong decisions I had made
Realised I have one life
Till my abode is in the grave

Our faith is carried as a struggle
With the weight of burning coal,
We keep away from all the troubles,
Just to find we yearn them more

I ask the Lord to give me strength
In my faith and my convictions
Keep away that which corrupts me,
Lest I start losing my religion

——————————————
Ammar Esvandiar Bobsaid

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